Yesterday's first Bible Study was so good and after doing the first lesson this morning, I know that it is going to be a really good study, although it seems to have the potential to seriously make me dig into my head and heart and sometimes that is not so fun and somewhat painful. But, I know that growth comes from that, so I am willing. The key verse is Psalm 99:14 "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing unto You, Oh Lord, my rock and my Redeemer." Did you know that research has shown that we have an inner dialogue with ourselves of 150-300 words a minutes? That is a lot of words!! The phrase that stuck out in my mind from this morning's study was that "who we are is not the same as what we struggle with." Definitely something to think about and take comfort in, if you ask me.
Last night, I had a meeting with some other young breast cancer survivors and we spent the evening talking with a woman who is to have her first treatment today. This has been my desire for this group is to talk and support each other through these difficult days.
Micah has an anatomy exam next week and so he is stressing a bit and I am not planning on seeing much of him over the next few days. He was up and gone earlier than usual this morning. My plan is normally to clean the house on Fridays and I did get quite a bit of what I like to call "pre-cleaning" done last night before my meeting. It is all the picking up and putting away of stuff that has piled up through the week, so that you can actually clean. and this morning as I was pouring my coffee, I was having this conversation with myself:
- Micah is going to be gone all day tomorrow, you can just clean then.
- No, you should go ahead and clean today, you will feel better if it is clean
- yeah, but I would really like to just sit and scrap today, it's been so long and I am so needing a reprieve from real life
- yes, but there is so much other work to be done too, are you just going to feel guilty all day?
See, I am working on those 300 words pretty diligently! I still haven't decided what I am going to do. It is pouring rain outside for the 4th day in a row, although it normally clears up in the afternoon and the sun comes out. I am going to feed the boys breakfast and see how I feel.
One quick story from this morning. Xavier got up and I was looking at some boys clothing online and he immediately sits on my lap and starts pointing at which ones he would like. Specifically, he would like the "long white pants that are big for his feet"---okay! Last night when we put them to bed, Xavier told Micah, "I love you SO much!" Also, they are obsessed with books with real pictures of animals in them. When we go to the library, I can hardly get them in the little kids section, they only want the educational books about animals. This week, we have about 5 books on turtles--riveting stuff, let me tell you!
And check out this sweet picture of the boys from the other day! they are getting so big.