Sometimes, I don't love Oklahoma

Early this morning, one of my oldest dearest friends in all the world gave birth to her first daughter.  I am so overjoyed for them, and yet have been sad all day that I am not there to help them welcome little Emmalyn to the world.  I called my sister this morning and said that maybe I was just getting what I deserved since the boys were born in France and everyone else was here in the States. It just feels wrong not to be able to be there, to rush over to the hospital and get to ooh and ahh over the new little one.  I spent several hours trying to figure out a way to make a quick trip by myself without the boys in the next week before Micah starts school, but there are just too many commitments and responsibilities.  And it isn't really a quick trip with it being 10 hours one way.  So, today, I have decided that I don't love being in is way too far away from so many friends and loved ones.  Welcome to the world, sweet little Emmalyn, I can't wait to meet you and I am going to have SO many stories to tell you about your momma!

In other news, Xavier is repeatedly telling me he wants me to have another baby this week.  Yesterday, he was telling me he wanted me to have two more boys that we could name Xavier and William and maybe we could call them X-man and W-man.   Today, he wants a little girl, but William isn't so sure about where the little girl will stay because we 'don't have a girl room'.  Xavier very kindly offered to let the little girl sleep on the floor in his room, he didn't really want to offer up his bed though, 'b/c I really need it.'

I am apparently feeling really contemplative recently.  I did this first layout after hearing of a young woman who is a missionary in Papua New Guinea and who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. We emailed a bit back and forth and it just made me think about decisions that we made right after I was diagnosed and whether or not, we would have done things differently.  (journaling will be copied below layout)

Journaling:  I don’t know that there have been any moments in our life more stressful than the ones we faced right after my cancer diagnosis.  We had no idea what the future held.  We didn’t really know if we would ever make it back to France.  We were unsure of where we would live, which direction to take in life.  So, we did what we could....we went to the next doctor’s appointment, we packed what we needed to, we changed our plans as things happened, we walked through doors that opened, we accepted the doors that closed, and every night we hugged and kissed our boys and told them just how much we loved them.  Looking back now, I still think we did the best that we could given the place we were in life and the information that we had and I hope that when we tell the story to our boys that we can teach them that when the journey is rough, when we don’t know which way to go, when life is coming at us way too fast, then we can trust the Father, we can take the next step, we can hold on to one another, and that we can KNOW that we will make it.

This was my lone picture from the boys week at VBS. I loved that as we were leaving the final night, there was a rainbow (which you can hardly see in the photo!).  You might not be able to read the journaling, but a few days after VBS, William came running into me b/c there had been something scary on the show that he was watching.  I said, "well, buddy what do you say when you are scared?"
 since I had taught them the verse "when I am afraid, I will trust God."  Instead, he says, "God's word is comforting!" which was one of the key phrases that they learned in VBS this year. I really loved that he was learning to put that in to practice.


Monica said…
X-man and W-man...your boys make me laugh! I hope your friend and newborn is doing well and that you'll get a LOT of pictures! Those never replace the out of the loop feeling, but they do help a little.
Consider yourself hugged, Becky!

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