Weary

Yesterday managed to be a very busy day for me, and I came home just weary, mostly because I had spent a great portion of the day in cancer-land, talking about it, thinking about it, listening to others share their stories, and I was just wiped out by the time that I got home.  It started off as a pretty good day because after dropping the boys off at school, I decided to try out a new little coffee shop in town and got their Gold Latte which is espresso with Mexican chocolate that has a little bit of spice in it blended with honey and 1/2 and 1/2.  First of all, anything that is made with half and half is usually pretty good, but mix that up with that chocolate and honey and it was amazing.  I will definitely be back!

Micah's mom had agreed to watch the boys yesterday afternoon for me while I went into Tulsa to meet with my surgeon and some other friends so that she could go over a presentation that she is giving on Sunday about the BRCA genetic mutations.  After listening to that for about an hour, I was just overwhelmed again with all the statistical probabilities of my life.  One of my friends that was there with me and who is also a mutation carrier was feeling the same way I was---heart rate rising, more than a little turmoil in her stomach.  But, there was good news, she ended by sharing some statistics that show the probability of living to the age of 74.  In general population with no mutations, about 84% can expect to live to age 74.  If you are a BRCA carrier and do no intervention, only 53% can expect to reach 74.  BUT.....if like me and my friend who also had preventative surgeries, that percentage skyrockets to like 75-79%.  That definitely made me feel better and reinforced that I have done everything that I can do. 
In the meantime, I discovered that someone else very dear to me was diagnosed with cancer and she is in the process of finding out treatment options, etc and I just am hating cancer.

Last night was my monthly Young Survival Coalition meeting and a few of us spent some pre-meeting time planning and then one of our members stopped by for a few minutes after discovering yesterday that her cancer has recurred for the second time in the last year and we spent some time listening, encouraging, and grieving a bit with her.  Then, we had a new lady come and I think that we spent some time helping her to see that she can survive this.  She just finished treatment and is feeling the way that all of us felt at one point or another--completely overwhelmed, finished with treatment and the rest of the world thinks that life is good again, and in reality she is just now starting to actually deal with the diagnosis and all that it entails.  So, by the time, I made it home at 8:30, I was just done...mentally, emotionally exhausted which turns into a physical weariness.  It was just a reminder all day long of this fallen world that we live in and made me long for the day when we stand in His presence knowing that there is no more cancer, no more diagnoses, no more statistical probabilities of cancer. 

Comments

joelsgirl said…
That is some heavy stuff, girl. I'm so sorry you had {have} to go through that, but I know that you are a blessing to those who are going through it now. {Hugs}
I was thinking the same thing as joelsgirl. You undoubtedly are an encouragement to all who spend time with you. I hope that you got some rest last night and today.
LaCombe said…
I Wish I could have been there to give you a big Hug! You deserve it! You are a Blessing to those around you and I know that you helped and Blessed many! Love and Prayers for rest phyically and emotionally!Kathy

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