New Days

I am so thankful for new days.  Yesterday was not a fun day to me.  I wasn't feeling well, first of all.  The boys were the boys.  If you have read this blog for any length of time, I hope you know that there is no end to my love and adoration for my boys.  Let me tell you, though, yesterday I thought I just might find the end of it.   They are just wild, rambunctious, joyful, spirited, crazy....and any other high energy adjective you can think of....that is pretty much how they live life.  For which, I am overwhelmingly thankful.  But....you knew a 'but' was coming, right?  But, there are days when their energy coupled with their fallen sinful natures and Micah being gone a LOT of the time.....oh and I guess my fallen sinful nature too....anyway, all of that comes together in the perfect storm of me hearing myself talk/scream/speak sternly to my boys and not really liking the way it sounds.  Before I had children, I probably would not have said that I struggled all that much with anger or having a temper (others might say differently, if you are one of those others, please find a kind way to tell me this.....I think I can take it).  But more and more, I find myself overly frustrated with my boys and what comes out of my mouth often can be described as anger and let me tell you, I do not like it, not one bit.  Yesterday was definitely one of those days when at the end of the day, I found myself crying and asking the Lord for help because I don't want to teach my boys that character trait, praying that He would redeem the words that I use with them, that He would help me to have self control (as I am forever telling them to practice), that they would forget the crazy woman that is sometimes their mother and remember only the good things.   Of course, it helps that I have no memories of my mom being angry/crazy like I am.  This could be attributed to the fact that she really was the perfect mom that I remember her being, or the fact that I have retained very few memories of my childhood.  Either way, I want them to have good happy memories and most of all, if they struggle with their temper (which I occasionally see in both of them), I want them to be able to learn to handle it in a godly manner. 

So, today, I am thankful for new days, for fresh starts, for another chance to handle life correctly.  And even though I don't 'officially' do Thankful Thursdays anymore, I am thankful this Thursday for a new day!

Comments

LaCombe said…
WE all have our angry days, but the person you really are will shine through most with your wonderful boys! They are Blessed that you are their mom and they will remember the Godly mom that they have as you remembered your mom as the perfect mother, so are you to them! Praying for your day and week and I know that God will pull you though it all! Love and Prayers, Kathy
Brian Lewis said…
Parenting is THE HARDEST job I've ever had. For the record, I think you're doing a great job, and Melissa and I learn a lot from you. Your boys will grow and use all that energy to do amazing things for God!
Brian Lewis said…
I found this timely after reading your blog (Yes, I read your blog before Shaun Groves. http://shaungroves.com/2011/01/even-perfect-parents/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+shaungrovesshlog+%28ShaunGroves.com%29

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