My fickle heart

If you had asked me just last week how I was feeling about the boys starting kindergarten next Thursday, I probably would have looked at you and said that 'I feel bad, but honestly, I am a little excited'.   The boys are my sweet (not so baby anymore) baby boys and honestly are there words to describe how much I love them?  But, oh my, they are a bundle of energy and our house has gotten very small in the last few weeks of the hottest weather we have experienced.  I told Micah a few weeks ago and have repeated to several friends that I was looking forward to their first couple of days so much that I was planning on simply dropping them off and then coming home and sitting in my house and doing nothing but enjoying the silence. 

So, enter my fickle heart.

My nieces have been in town and my much-braver-than-I sister-in-law had offered to keep all 5 cousins (3 five year olds, a six  year old, and 11 year old) over night for a cousin sleepover.  While I knew that they would all have fun, I could not imagine actually doing all of that.  We dropped them off around 5 on Sunday night before Micah and I headed to an outreach event for church and then I was supposed to meet up with them yesterday early afternoon to go bowling.  Somewhere around 10 AM yesterday, I found myself getting really sad and feeling like my house was really quiet and realized that I was missing my boys.  Which led me to be sad about the fact that school is starting and they will be gone every day for close to eight hours and they are just growing up so fast.

Of course, about 5 minutes of being with all five rambunctious children at the bowling alley made me remember that I am ready for kindergarten (see, fickle heart!).

I am sure that when the day arrives next week that there will be both parts to my heart.  There will be the part that is sad that they are growing up so quickly and ready for this transition already and then there will be part of me that is going to bask in the silence in the middle of the day at my house.


Amy said…
They are going to do great in Kindergarten! I know it will be an adjustment for all of you, especially the first few weeks, but just think about all of the scrapping time you will have!! And just maybe we can have a little chat on the phone too...well, as long as you don't mind hearing Lukas yell in the background! :)
Anonymous said…
Those sure are sweet poses of the boys. (All of our "greats" are the sweetest!) I say that humbly ;)
I just wrote on Melissa's blog, so I will not repeat some of the comments here. But you are a sweet caring mother as well. (As I know Liz will be too, having you two as examples.) School is a part of the growing up process, sad or glad as it may seem, at times. Love you all, Gma E.
Keri said…
Becky - my twin boys started today! I walked them in and got back in the car and said to my husband, "I don't know whether to laugh or cry." He looked at me and said, "Do you realize you said that exact same thing on the delivery table the day they were born?" Oh, the waterworks started then.... can't wait to hear how your first day was!

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