Provision

Did you know that God provides?  Because He does. 

I have been meaning to sit down and write up a little post with an update on the work situation since I hadn't mentioned it in awhile, but just hadn't gotten around to it.  Then, tonight I thought, "I think I have the words to write it", opened up blogger, typed in the title and immediately had tears fill my eyes as I realized anew that I could list time after time after time where God has provided.  He never ever fails me.  Does He always provide in just the way that I think that I need or in the timing that I am envisioning as perfect for my situation? No.  But, He never fails.  He has never just does not shown up in a situation. 

So, way back in January, I found out that my job that I have held since Micah has been in med school which has allowed me to work from home (or various other locations, when I want to travel) and has been such a huge provision in and of itself allowing me to stay at home with the boys while still earning income and not living on loans (which is what many families of medical students do)--I found out that this job was going to be phased out.  We weren't quite sure when, but it was definitely happening.  Honestly, I went into a bit of freak out mode as I tried to figure out how I could find some sort of work that would provide a decent income, but that I could do from home or during school hours with summers off, etc.  I reminded myself often to trust, to remember that God would provide for us, that if push came to shove, that we could live on savings for a while and loans if we absolutely had to, that while that thought made me want to be physically ill, I am told that one day Micah is going to be making a salary that would allow us to repay those loans.  I actually pursued a variety of job options, interviewed a couple of times at one place only to discover that I would have to work 40+ hours a week with very little flexibility.  And while I know that there are many families who must do just that....I also knew that because of Micah's schooling/rotations and the not uncommon reality of him being gone from our home 60-100 hrs a week (and that is a conservative estimate, honestly)...I knew that this would be a huge change for our boys.  I have been their constant, their stability.  My heart was heavy and overwhelmed.  I did not know how in the world that I was going to be able to be all that I needed to be for my boys, take care of our household, and work that job.  I was at church one morning early February and just casually chatting with some friends in the kitchen where I work with our hospitality team, "if you hear of anything, I am going to be looking for something, etc."  My friend replies, 'you should talk to the principal here at Rejoice [where my boys are in school], because they are looking to start a French program next year. 

Whew.

My first response was, 'um, I don't know, I don't think I am qualified...But, yes, that is an option, and I should think about it because it would allow the same schedule as the boys.'  So, I email the principal, she says 'come in and let's talk about it'.  In the meantime, I begin to think about what I learned in my college level French classes and realize that I could totally teach that, and so when I went in to talk to the principal, it kind of turned into an interview which resulted in my working towards getting my certification to teach at the school and that led to me researching and choosing curriculum and come August, I will officially be starting a French program and be Madame Derby to a group of students from 5th grade all the way to high school. 


I currently have two feelings when I think about teaching:  excitement and the desire to throw up.



I am excited because I love France and honestly, I want to teach the students French, but I want to teach them about the country of France, about other French speaking countries and how there is a whole world out there waiting to hear about the Good News of our Savior.  I want to see them leave my classroom knowing French, but also leave with a burden for and knowledge about the French speaking countries of the world.  It kind of makes me want to throw up ( I apologize if that is too much information!) because I have never formally taught before and sometimes new things scare me, because I like to feel confident, because I also like to be 'liked' and what if I completely mess it all up?  It is okay though...those 'fears' are going to be motivators for me.  I am not going to lie, it is a daunting task.  I have enough friends who were Teacher Education majors in school to know that it is a load of work, I also know that this first year is probably going to be the toughest.  But, you know what?  It is okay.  I get to work at the school where my boys go, I get to have summers off with them, school breaks with them, when they go to school, I go to school, when they are done, I am done.  God provides. 

When I started looking into this possibility these several months ago, I struggled because I had a vague idea of just how much work this was going to take.  I also knew that it is a small Christian school and so the compensation wasn't exactly going to be huge. I knew that to be an effective teacher I needed to have a desire to teach and to be there for their students and it not just simply be a 'job' to me.  So, I began to pray that if this is what God had for me, then He would place that desire in my heart.  Guess what?  God provides.  Tonight, I was emailing a friend and talking about this very thing and I realized how God had answered that prayer specifically by placing in me an excitement and desire to do this very thing. 

And the really sweet thing is that when I  look back over my life as a whole and in particular our married life and these last five years, I can point at time after time after time where He has provided just what we needed when we needed it.  He provides for us. 

The boys have been memorizing Psalm 23 this summer and so because I have been listening to it over and over and over, it has burrowed down deep in my own heart and encouraged me so much:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He makes me to lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters
He restores my soul
He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His names' sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me
You prepare a table before me, in the presence of my enemies,
You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I needed to be reminded of these familiar, yet sometimes forgotten or overlooked truths.  He provided His Words to minister to my heart.

I am so SO thankful for His goodness.

Comments

Beautiful reminder for us all. For a control freak like me (Shhh, don't tell my family I just admitted that)it is very hard to WAIT on God's timing. He has always provided and I still find myself reaching the edge of panic before remembering His faithfulness. I will be praying for you as you begin this exciting venture!
joelsgirl said…
This is a wonderful story! I'm so excited for you!
Monica said…
Congratulations on the new job! (And you have NO idea how much I needed that reminder today!)
thehsmomof3 said…
I am so encouraged to hear yet another story of God's faithfulness and provision. Thank you for sharing!
-Sherri
Vous serez un merveilleux professeur de français!!
thehsmomof3 said…
I should add that my high school French teacher (in a small Christian school a LONG time ago) was a missionary's kid from Cote D'Ivoire. In those years I gained such a love for all French speaking cultures around the world. I think God did that through her faithfulness, and my heart warms anytime I hear it spoken. You just never know how God will use this time that is provision for you in the lives of so many. I'll pray that He multiply your efforts for His glory.
Amy said…
Becky, I am so excited for you! You are going to do a wonderful job, my friend.
Vicky said…
Becky- yay for you!! What courage it had to have taken to put yourself out there in this way. But as I was reading I found myself just cheering for you and rooting for you and I think God is probably too!

Congrats!
Melissa said…
You know that I think you will be a fabulous teacher. Although I'm selfishly going to miss your freedom for impromptu trips to Nashville (let's just hope we don't need any!).
Christine said…
This. Is. Amazing. Amazing! Congratulations!

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