This week

My boys turned nine years old yesterday. I have some sweet stories and some cute pictures and the yearly interview to post tomorrow.  But this past week did not turn out like any other week.

Just 11 short days ago, a friend from college, who is also a mother of multiples (and an almost 9 year old boy) and a missionary in Spain, sent me a Facebook message with the sad news of her 32 year old sister being diagnosed with cancer in the last week and would I maybe have time to send her a message.  I took a deep breath and felt the tears immediately come to my eyes, knowing just a small portion of the story--because her sister Bethany and husband David were missionaries living in Lima, Peru and I felt the pain of what that diagnosis would mean for them, for their life--and it made my heart sad.  Of course, I would email her and share any encouragement I could, willing to listen, to answer questions if she needed.  I didn't hear back right away, but didn't think much knowing how overwhelming the days after diagnosis always are. I prayed, we prayed for their family. I prayed for Brooke who was in Spain and so much farther than I was when Melissa was diagnosed and yet I could understand how hard it was to be so far when you just need to set your eyes on your loved one.

Wednesday night, I could not sleep. I read stories of Bethany on Facebook, watched her smile as friends posted photos, and I prayed and prayed and prayed for a miracle for her life since we had learned that a miracle was indeed what she needed, the cancer was extremely aggressive. I prayed for the ICU team that was taking care of her. I read Scriptures that others were praying for her family, and I prayed Psalm 125:2 that has been such a comfort to me "As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people from this time forth and forever."  And it was with the greatest sadness,  grief, and unbelief that I read a text from my sister Thursday morning that Bethany had passed away in the early hours of morning, mere days after her diagnosis, leaving her husband and three small children.

To be honest, I don't know how to process this week.  I have cried buckets of tears for this family.  I have been in awe of the legacy that she is leaving.  I have grieved for her sister who did not get to make it back to the States to see her before she left this life. I have asked God 'why?' I have felt guilt that my life is continuing when hers is not. I have held my boys tightly and thanked God for the privilege of seeing them grow. I have watched my sleep deprived husband (who is working ICU nights this month) grieve for them and process some fears he has for me. My heart has been so heavy for her family and I just have been asking God to hold them closely.  I know that He is good and that He is faithful and yet, their pain is great. I have heard Crowder's song Come As You Are several times this week and the line that "Earth has no sorrow that heaven can't heal" has echoed in my mind over and over.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18


Amanda said…
I got here by Melissa's link. I am so glad I clicked on it. This was so beautifully written, Becky.
Vicky said…
I also came by way of Melissa's link. I'm utterly heartbroken, Becky. I'm so sorry for your loss. Words seem to fail me at times like this, but I will pray for you, for her family, for all that loved her.

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